You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
