Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My vagina is officially offended.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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