You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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