Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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