Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
