If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
