i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
