We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
