your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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