In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
