found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Randomize
