Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
