Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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