why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
