Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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