I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize