You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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