So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
