Texts From Last Night

(702): View more from Nevada

whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

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Spoken like a true rapist.

Submitted by stokedonsurf on Jul 21, 10 at 3:46pm

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When is Ben Roethlisberger gonna learn?

Submitted by itsmillertime on Jul 21, 10 at 3:49pm

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How bout you lay your fuck stick up on me

Submitted by egirl on Jul 21, 10 at 4:31pm

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I imagine this being said like the "its my money and i need it now!" commercials.

Submitted by lockdown23 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:57pm

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Wow. Truer words have never been spoken by a rapist.

Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:22pm

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Hell ya bro!!

Submitted by zcfrey on Jul 21, 10 at 6:46pm

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Would you stick it in a blender? Or a light socket?

Submitted by Yourhappiness on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

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- Only if he wanted to.
  
  Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:11pm
  
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woahh soo funny omg...

Submitted by bringatowel on Jul 21, 10 at 3:16pm

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Famous last words?

Submitted by embracethefury on Jul 22, 10 at 8:49am

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Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

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Hahaha best outta the ones I've read today lol :D

Submitted by karla on Jul 21, 10 at 4:15pm

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NOT near the beer dingo please

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 4:44pm

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If it's big, then why the fuck not? Violently curse anyone who questions your dick whipping out authority

Submitted by niceman on Jul 21, 10 at 10:37pm

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Peyton Manning had sex with a dolphin

Submitted by peytonmanning on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

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Truer words have never been spoken

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 10 at 1:47am

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That's freakin awesome

Submitted by texasaj on Jul 21, 10 at 3:48pm

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Haha..... Totally

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:35pm

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Text me!! Five eight zero six nine five one one six one

Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:36pm

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Sounds like something my friend would say and he's from Vegas.

Submitted by drewtheman on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

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Wooo Vegas!!!! Hey egirl I got mine here

Submitted by satanicfrog138 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:41pm

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Haha

Submitted by laxbro18 on Jul 21, 10 at 7:29pm

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Jesus would agree.

Submitted by Creeperstar on Jul 21, 10 at 4:45pm

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Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

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best. text. ever.

Submitted by agracc on Aug 19, 10 at 11:16pm

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Lol. I feel the same way with my pretezls.

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:26pm

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Taking control...I like it ;)

Submitted by EmmaXxX on Jul 21, 10 at 6:56pm

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Michael Jackson just won't die, will he?

Submitted by mycoolname on Jul 22, 10 at 12:36am

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This is stupid and transport out jason

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 1:24pm

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"What-eva, I do what I want!"

Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

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Michael Jackson ain't dead cuz I saw him with a fat Elvis when I went to Disneyland

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:52am

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Uh huh. That includes my little strap-on number. You best be wary...

Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:45pm

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Haha stay classy Vegas

Submitted by alliemcbeal on Jul 21, 10 at 6:06pm

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Bad idea, my friend.

Submitted by anonymous0009 on Jul 21, 10 at 6:22pm

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that's great

Submitted by Premeau on Jul 22, 10 at 1:45pm

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This is Jason Statham, and jbwarner86 has seen south park.

Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 22, 10 at 10:14am

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Damn straight!

Submitted by mnsbaseball on Jul 21, 10 at 6:33pm

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Nab not Ben roethlisburger he lives in Pittsburgh that's 412 or 724

Submitted by gunmetalballoon on Jul 21, 10 at 4:18pm

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Michael Jackson died?

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 22, 10 at 1:30am

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(702): View more from Nevada

Comments

Submitted by stokedonsurf on Jul 21, 10 at 3:46pm

Submitted by itsmillertime on Jul 21, 10 at 3:49pm

Submitted by egirl on Jul 21, 10 at 4:31pm

Submitted by lockdown23 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:57pm

Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:22pm

Submitted by zcfrey on Jul 21, 10 at 6:46pm

Submitted by Yourhappiness on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:11pm

Submitted by bringatowel on Jul 21, 10 at 3:16pm

Submitted by embracethefury on Jul 22, 10 at 8:49am

Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

Submitted by karla on Jul 21, 10 at 4:15pm

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 4:44pm

Submitted by niceman on Jul 21, 10 at 10:37pm

Submitted by peytonmanning on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 10 at 1:47am

Submitted by texasaj on Jul 21, 10 at 3:48pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:35pm

Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:36pm

Submitted by drewtheman on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

Submitted by satanicfrog138 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:41pm

Submitted by laxbro18 on Jul 21, 10 at 7:29pm

Submitted by Creeperstar on Jul 21, 10 at 4:45pm

Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

Submitted by agracc on Aug 19, 10 at 11:16pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:26pm

Submitted by EmmaXxX on Jul 21, 10 at 6:56pm

Submitted by mycoolname on Jul 22, 10 at 12:36am

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 1:24pm

Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:52am

Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:45pm

Submitted by alliemcbeal on Jul 21, 10 at 6:06pm

Submitted by anonymous0009 on Jul 21, 10 at 6:22pm

Submitted by Premeau on Jul 22, 10 at 1:45pm

Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 22, 10 at 10:14am

Submitted by mnsbaseball on Jul 21, 10 at 6:33pm

Submitted by gunmetalballoon on Jul 21, 10 at 4:18pm

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 22, 10 at 1:30am

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