Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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