He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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