that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize