great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
