those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
