I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Randomize
