Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
