omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
