im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
