Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
