you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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