So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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