I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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