I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Text me some of your sweat
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize