man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We just shotgunned beers for America
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
