just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
