the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
