508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
