Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
