these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
