If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
