I am puke
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
