Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
