I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
