Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
