You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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