pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize