Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
