Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
