I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
