I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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