at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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