These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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