He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize