I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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