...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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