That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I look better un-naked...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
