Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize