I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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