i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
