I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i used baking grease as lip gloss
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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