Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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