Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
