i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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