found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
