I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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