im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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