White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
