My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
