does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
