his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
