Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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