I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
