We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize