Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
