do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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