You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
