Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize