Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
