the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
