I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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